


I Don't Know What My Heart Says

by orphan_account



Category: In the Forest of Huckybucky, The Huckybucky Forest
Genre: :), Angst with a Happy Ending, Fox Mating Season, I can barely make it through but hEY, Implied Sexual Content, Like, M/M, also, guys this is heavy, in which Marvin is in heat and Claus forgets, lol, poor Claus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 15:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12843795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Marvin is in heat, Claus forgets, shenanigans ensues.





	I Don't Know What My Heart Says

The forest was awfully quiet, Claus mused. He was walking around aimlessly, not really having any other goals than to get some food. At the thought, his stomach growled lightly, and Claus grimaced. There really were no sounds today. The birds were quiet, there was no wind, and the other animals appeared to stay inside for some reason. He just couldn’t remember _which_. There must be one, right?

                Claus had just begun to wonder if he should just go home without eating or not, when something moved behind him. He froze, and his eyes widened. He hadn’t seen or heard a soul since this morning. Who in Bucky could it be? Slowly, he turned around. A flash of red, pain in his back and then he was laying on the ground with a fox above him. Marvin.

                Claus’ eyes widened further and he began to struggle immediately. Damn, this was- this wasn’t good. Why, oh why, was he so bad at remembering important dates? Of _course_ the other animals kept inside, it was fox mating season now. Which meant that Marvin would, and could, take any and every animal in this forest.

                “Hello, Claus,” the fox purred, creeping closer and pinning his arms down above his head. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, _no._ This _really_ wasn’t good.

                “Hello, Marvin,” Claus squeaked. He tried to kick Marvin in the stomach, but it did no good. The only reaction he got was the fox flicking his tail in front of Claus’ face. He caught a whiff of Marvin’s scent, and despite everything, it seemed… welcoming. Like home. No. No, no, **no**. That was just his instincts speaking. Come _on,_ Claus, think _rationally!_ “Marvin, please, you’re not yourself, just let me go,” he tried, stopping his moving for the moment.

                Marvin chuckled, and creeped closer. Their bodies were barely two inches apart, and Marvin seemed to _ooze_ of lust and excitement. “I am myself, Claus,” he growled. Their snouts were almost touching now. Claus drew a sharp breath. This- this wasn’t okay! This was _not okay_. Why was he turned on by this!? “I want this.”

                “Well I don’t!” Claus cried, turning his head to the side just before Marvin tried to press their muzzles together. “I don’t,” he whispered to the forest. He wasn’t sure who he was saying it to, himself or the fox. His face heated up at the kiss to his cheek, and he blushed harder when he noticed.

                “Too bad,” Marvin grinned, and flicked his tail again. “Because I do.”

                “Please Marvin, please,” Claus begged, screwing his eyes shut and ignoring his itchy throat. He would not cry. He would not. “When mating season’s over you’re going to regret this, I promise you will,” he whimpered. “So please let me go.”

                “My, resolved to begging are we?”

                “Marvin!” Claus yelled, still not turning his head to face the fox. “Marvin this isn’t you!”

                Marvin seemed amused at the thought that he wouldn’t willingly want to fuck Claus. “Really?” he drawled. “What makes you think that?”

                Deep breath, Claus, this is going to be fine, he’s not going to rape you, breathe, breathe- “Because,” he said shakily. “You are supposed to eat me.” His stomach, upon hearing this, decided that this was a perfect moment to growl loudly in complaint.

                All movement stopped, and the fox froze above him before pulling away abruptly. He sat down on his heels and frowned, using his front paws to keep his balance. “You’re hungry,” he said quietly. Almost as if he were… worried?

                Claus grinned sheepishly, before he crawled backwards, jumped up and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He could swear that someone muttered ‘damn’ softly behind him, but no one tried to chase after him.

                When he got home, he shut the door, locked it and barricaded it with three chairs and a table. He ended the evening by climbing into his bed and staying under the covers until he fell asleep.

 

*

 

 Claus groaned into a pillow. God, he was hungry. When mating season was over, he was going to start harvesting food. He’d make sure to never forget the fox mating season ever again. He was going to avoid all animals during their mating season and he would lock himself in during his, so that he would never be able to embarrass himself or others. But the planning would do nobody any good if he didn’t survive this season.

                He hadn’t eaten in a week. This wasn’t good.

                He groaned again and pushed himself up from the bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He needed food. Now. Perhaps he could steal some more nuts from Squirrel-Jensen’s nut cellar? Anything would be good now. He’d just be careful and not make any sound. Hopefully Jensen would just think that it was Marvin, and stay the fuck away.

                Ah, yes. Marvin. Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck again. Marvin was still out and running, with a fox’ ears and nose. He would easily smell or hear Claus the moment he stepped out through his door.

                But Claus didn’t care right now. He needed food, goddamnit, and it was going out or dying.

                Opening his window, the mouse slipped out, landing quietly on the ground. He jogged through the forest, keeping his eyes on the ground so he wouldn’t accidentally step on a twig or stumble in a rock.

                One moment he was running, and the next he was pinned to a tree. He gave a startled scream as he suddenly found himself hanging above the ground, at the same eyelevel as a fox.

                Fuck it. Marvin. How the shit had he heard him? This was _not_ good. “Marvin!” Claus cried.

                “Claus,” Marvin said, taking a step forward and pressing their bodies together, so his paws were free. “Hello.”

                “Let me go!” Claus snarled. Hunger tore through him. He didn’t have the strength to fight back right now, and he knew it. If Marvin wanted to take him, he could. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

                The fox hummed, pretending to think about it and cocking his head. The ‘m’ sound vibrated through Claus and he whimpered. “I think not,” Marvin drawled, smirking and showing off his sharp teeth.

                God, he was too close and he smelled so welcoming and fuck, fuck, Merlin save him before he wanted this-

                Claus took short, shallow breaths and turned his head away. A new wave of hunger washed over him, and he gasped loudly. The pain, the smell and just the whole situation caused some tears to well up in his eyes, and he gritted his teeth. He would not cry. That was not an option and would not help him. Marvin would just laugh. He would not cry, he would not!

                Claus screwed his eyes shut. It wouldn’t do any good to beg.

                At the thought, a few traitorous tears escaped his eyes and trickled down through the fur on his cheeks.

                Marvin froze. He didn’t just stop moving, he stopped breathing. His tail stopped swishing behind him and it… almost seemed like he paled? “Claus?” he said, taking a small step back. In shock? What had shocked him? Did he seriously just expect him to go with it? Be happy while the fox raped him? “What’s wrong?”

                What’s wrong? What’s _wrong_!? Claus drew a shivering breath and turned his face to meet Marvin’s gaze. “Hungry,” he whispered pathetically.

                Marvin widened his eyes and took another step away. Claus fell to the ground and wheezed. What the-? Why had he done that? Not that- not that he didn’t want to be released, but-

                Claus didn’t use any more time to think. He just bolted away as fast as he could, without looking back. When he passed by Squirrel-Jensen’s nut cellar he threw open the door and all but fell down the stairs in his haste.

                He sat there, in the dark, for almost an hour before he dared to move. Marvin had either not followed him or not realized he was here. Whatever reason, Claus was alone.

                With food.

                Pulling a rolled up bag out from his pocket, Claus hurried to fill it with nuts. His hands were shaking. Now that he thought about it, his whole body was shaking. He was in shock. Well, at least now he had enough food for the rest of the season.

                How was he going to get home? He couldn’t just- stay here, could he? No, no of course not, Squirrel-Jensen would find him sometime, and then he would be in _deep shit_.

                He would wait until dark. Yes, that’s good, Marvin should be sleeping then. Marvelous.

                So Claus sat down and waited.

 

*

 

When he got home, a basket filled with carrots was standing just outside of his door. Claus was, at this point, so exhausted that he just swore loudly and picked it up. The next morning, however…

                It couldn’t have been anyone else than Marvin. No one else were walking around in the forest, not in March. Not during the fox mating season. Well… no one but Claus and Marvin, anyways. And Claus definitely knew that it wasn’t _he_ that had placed it there. Which leaves…

                _Marvin_.

                But why? Why would he give him a basket of carrots? Were they poisoned or something? That wasn’t Marvin’s style, and it didn’t smell like poison, and when he’d washed them the water was still clean. It just- it didn’t make _sense_! _Why_!? _Why would Marvin help him!?_

Claus moaned in despair and put his head in his hands. What was he supposed to do, thank him? As if he would walk outside at a time like this. That was it! A trap! It must’ve been a trap to lure him out! But, no… Marvin wasn’t capable off thinking rationally right now. Not to such a degree, at least. Then- then _why_?

                The mouse shook his head, got up and started to walk around the room. He was desperate for something to do. Seriously. March was the _worst_ month. There was never anything he could do. Nothing at all! He would write songs, and he would play with his ukulele, and he would draw some bad drawings and he would eat whatever food he’d nicked the last few weeks, but that was it.

                It was just so- so _boring_! A whole month locked into his own home! This wasn’t healthy!

                But then again, when the only other option was to go outside, this was better. Not a lot, but a bit. And a bit was good enough.

                Claus wrote a song. Then he played with the ukulele. Then he drew some. Then he ate.

                And then he went to sleep.

                Seriously!

                Claus was going to _kill_ Marvin when March was over. This was horrible. Horr-i-ble.

 

*

 

“I’m going to fucking die,” Claus said when he woke up the next day. “I hate this. I fucking hate this.”

                Claus wasn’t one to swear. He was a lively, happy mouse with a great and ongoing spirit. But when he was, literally, barricaded into his own home, he turned into a monster.

                How had he been able to survive this before?

                …

                How was _Marvin_ able to survive this? He was out there, alone, in the forest, without company-

                and completely bonkers, raving mad and desperate to get laid.

                Holy shit, had Claus really contemplated going out there to keep him company? That was fucking madness.

                On the other paw, Claus wasn’t hungry anymore. No more unexpected pain.

                No more ways to tell himself that he wasn’t turned on, haha, yes, no going out then.

                Good. Great. That’s settled.

                Claus shot one look at the room he was supposed to live in for two more weeks, and had to bite back a sob.

                He was going to _survive this,_ goddamnit!

                …but first he had to get some air.

                Like, right now.

                Jumping out of bed, he ran over to his window and opened it wide. A cold breeze entered the room immediately, and he sighed in relief. If he couldn’t get out, then he would have to _fake_ being out. **Fine** then.

                The air was fresh, and brought the lingering taste of freedom and berries. It smelled of grass, of nature, of _outside_ , and- wait, what was that? He’d smelled it before, but where- it was so faint, what could it be? Almost… rough, but not- not too much, what-? Could it be that Master Hare was baking something, it was a familiar, almost homely scent… but-

                Claus’ eyes widened as he recognized it and he dropped to the floor immediately, pressing his back into the wall and bringing his knees up to his chest. He was shaking life a leaf, trying to calm himself down even while he wanted to cry. Mustering just enough willpower to get up and shut the window softly, Claus whimpered. Wasn’t he going to be safe anywhere? Would Marvin follow him, no matter where he went?

                No, that wasn’t fair. It was obviously a windy day, and when Marvin was the only animal in the forest, it wasn’t weird that Claus could smell him. With no other strong scents to deafen it, it would be strange if he _couldn’t_ smell him.

                Alright. Good. Great.

                …

                Why was he suddenly so _scared_ of him!? Claus faced this every day! Every! Day! He’d never been frightened to this degree before!

                It had always been a… game, of sorts, to see who would win, Claus or Marvin. Although, if Marvin won he’d ‘lose’ Claus accidentally. They- they even had a list of who had won or not! At least- at least Claus had, he wasn’t sure about Marvin, but-

                …

                What if everything was in his head? What if Marvin was serious about killing him? What if he was going to eat him either way? What if it wasn’t, and Marvin would kill him anyways?

                Shit. Shit, what was going on? Why was he so frightened, why was he doubting _now_? Why was he **_freaking out!?_**

Breathe, Claus, breathe.

                He put his head on his knees and cried.

 

*

 

_It was night, and Claus was under the open sky. He counted the stars happily. Freedom! He was outside! The wind was ruffling his fur softly, and beside him sat his ukulele, almost begging to be played. Claus didn’t reach out after it; he enjoyed the gentle almost-but-not-quite silence. Life was in the forest again, and he was with it. A feeling of joy spread through him slowly, starting in his chest and spreading all the way to his toes. Right now, in this moment, he could do anything. Anything!_

_A shadow sat down next to him. Faceless, emotionless, bodiless. It was just a voice, a plain voice. An idea. “Hello,” it said._

_Claus didn’t care that he couldn’t sense the creature beyond the shadow-y feeling. “Hello,” he responded happily. This was a happy place. “Who are you?”_

_The shadow didn’t answer. It seemed awkward. “I-,” it started, but stopped before it could complete the sentence. “I’m sorry.”_

*

 

Claus started awake, and felt the loss immediately. He shut his eyes. He wanted to go back, go back to the night, go back to the freedom. Honestly, this was so- so- gruesome! It was torture! He couldn’t stay inside here two more weeks, he just- he couldn’t! With every year, it became worse than the last.

                And what about that shadow? What was that? Shapeless, faceless, voiceless! And it was sorry? Sorry for what? Interrupting his dream? It needn’t be sorry, it was a pleasant thing with a comforting presence, after all.

                Well, it was just a dream, so Claus needn’t worry about it either, but…

                he was silent that day, mourning the loss of the shadow.

 

*

 

_He was back beneath the open sky. It was cloudy tonight, but Claus didn’t mind. As long as he was out, free, it was fine. A thought struck him, and he looked around, excited and aware. Would the shadow be here tonight, too?_

_Suddenly it was there, next to him. “Oh, hello!” Claus smiled, waving happily. “Who are you?” he asked, repeating the question from the night before._

_The shadow huffed. “You don’t wanna know.”_

_Claus raised his eyebrows. “Oh, but I do!”_

_“You’re going to run away, and then you’ll wake up again.”_

_“I’m not,” Claus reassured it. “Please, just tell me!”_

_The shadow sighed heavily. “Fine.” A shape took form, and then it got color, and then soul, and then suddenly someone Claus recognized was sitting next to him._

_“Marvin?” he cried, jumping backwards._

_“I’m sorry,” Marvin said, looking away. He was sitting calmly with his paws in his lap, a sad expression on his face. His eyes were flat against his head._

_Claus relaxed. This was a dream. He could wake up whenever he wanted to. “About what?” he asked._

_Marvin huffed, and looked over at him. “For being a total git.”_

_Claus laughed. “It’s fine, Marvin. This is just a dream, you don’t have to be sorry for something completely out of your control.”_

_Marvin raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. “If you say so.”_

_Claus cocked his head for a moment. This place was so calm, so serene. No other animals were nearby. They were alone. He had no reason to fear him and he would wake up any moment. “It’s a dream… which means,” he said. “That I can do this without getting in trouble.”_

_Without allowing Marvin to reply, he pressed their muzzles together in a soft kiss. He should grab the opportunity to kiss him when he had the chance, right? He was dreaming. He didn’t have any thoughts, he just acted._

_Marvin made a startled noise, and then he pulled him closer, deepening their kiss._

_The dream went blurry after that, but Claus knew that his real-life counterpart would remember all the details later, and he grinned._

 

*

 

Claus woke up with a yelp and sat straight up in his bed. “Well this is just fucking _perfect_!” he yelled. He was hard. What the fuck. Why the fuck. How had this _happened_? When had it gotten this far?

                Getting out of bed, he angrily washed his face with cold water. It would go away, of course it would.

                He wrote a song, and it kept poking him.

                It would go away.

                He tried to play on his ukulele, but it was just in the way. Claus took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It didn’t work.

                It would go away.

                He drew, but when his mind wandered, it just ended up being drawings of foxes.

                It would go away.

                He ate, but the nuts didn’t taste anything. He eyed the carrots warily and tried to casually take a bite out of one of them. It tasted better than any of the nuts had done, and he ate two or three of them sourly.

                It would. not. go. away.

                “What do I have to do to get rid of you?!” Claus yelled at his erection. How was this even possible? “What?!”

                He knew, of course, and groaned in frustration before taking the matter in his own hands.

 

*

 

The dream more or less repeated itself over the next four days. At night- or at day. It was seriously frustrating, every moment Claus let his mind wander, the dream would pop up in his head and he would get a boner before he could stop himself.

                This was becoming _painful_. For fuck’s sake, _Marvin_ was in mating season, not _Claus!_

                And the worst part was that Claus _knew_ that the only reason the dream kept replaying, was that they had sex _while Marvin was **normal**_. He wasn’t driven by a crazy instinct. Claus also knew that if he actually _would_ have sex with Marvin, right now, then it would be rough and hard and he would _not enjoy it_.

                Which was why he found himself jumping out of his window. He had to prove to himself that Marvin _wasn’t like that_ , Marvin wouldn’t- wouldn’t fuck him like that, because this was becoming a Problem. Problem with capital letter. Had it only been for the remaining week of fox mating season it would’ve been fine. Had it only been for the fox mating seasons, it would be fine.

                But it _wasn’t_ , and Claus _knew it_. Later, when their… game… resumed, everything would be seriously awkward. Especially if Claus got a boner every time he looked at Marvin.

                So. He found himself jumping out of his window and- and _outside._ He was outside, in fresh air, with soft noises and a wind muttering words into his ear.

                Good. Great. Claus shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked around. Now he just had to find Marvin, and the rest… he swallowed and closed his eyes. The rest would happen by itself.

 

*

 

Alright. Now he was alone, in a clearing far away from any of the other animal’s houses. Claus took a deep breath and steadied himself. This was a smart move, he told his brain. This was a good idea. He’d never be bothered by the dream again. Probably. Maybe.

                Shit, what was he doing here? Getting raped by a fox? What was the chances that he would be eaten? How large were they? No, he couldn’t think about this now.

                Closing his eyes, Claus drew a shaky breath. He had to get this over with, better to face this once than be bothered for a year. Alright. Okay, he could do this. “Marvin!”

                The fox had good hearing, and with the forest deserted and no wind blowing, he should be able to hear him from a long distance. Now all Claus had to do was wait.

                He hated waiting.

 

*

 

Claus had to admit, Marvin was both stealthy and fast. He’d expected to have to wait for five or six minutes before Marvin appeared, but _nooooo_ , of course not. Barely three minutes had passed, Claus had turned around, and there he was. Standing right behind him with his paws behind his back and looking down at him. Quiet and still.

                Claus yelled out in surprise and stumbled backwards. He hadn’t even smelled him coming! He hadn’t heard him, hadn’t smelled him, hadn’t seen him. What the shit, how had he been able to do that? “Marvin!” Claus yelped. “How long have you been standing there?”

                “Long enough,” Marvin growled, and that was the only answer Claus got before the fox pounced on him.

 

*

 

Later, Claus and Marvin were laying side by side on the grass, staring up at the sky in silence. Claus blinked a few times before he groaned and put an arm over his eyes. “Well,” he muttered. “That didn’t work.”

                Marvin rolled around and pushed himself up on his elbows. “What didn’t work?” he asked. He sounded genuinely interested, and Claus had to wonder just how rational he was at the moment.          Claus groaned again. “It’s just going to get worse now,” he complained loudly.

                Marvin crawled over to him, laid down next to him and nuzzled his chest happily. Claus shivered. “Are you- are you scent-marking me!?”

                “Mhm,” Marvin replied. Claus moaned in despair and shut his eyes. This was going downhill. What was he going to do, now? It hadn’t been rough. It hadn’t been hard. And he’d- Claus had- Claus had _enjoyed it_. Oh, this was bad. This was really, really bad. The dreams were going to come back full force, and when everything went back to normal, _Claus_ was the one that should regret this. Marvin had an excuse, after all. Claus didn’t have a good one.

                Well then. Lying it was. “I want you to know,” he said flatly, opening his eyes again when Marvin pulled back to look at him. “That the only reason I’m here is to keep you company. I think it’s lonely out here, without anyone else.”

                Without answering, Marvin curled up around him in a protective ball. “M-Marvin!?” Claus gasped. He didn’t dare move, in case the fox would get mad at him.

                Marvin still didn’t answer, he just purred and pulled him closer. Claus gritted his teeth and tried to fight a blush when Marvin’s heartbeat reached his ears. This wasn’t Marvin, he reminded himself. Not really, it wasn’t Marvin, they would both regret this when the season was over, but-

                he couldn’t help himself, he blushed hard and relaxed in the fox’ embrace. He could enjoy it while it lasted.

                Right?

 

*

 

Claus walked home that night, and wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Well, he knew that he felt drained and tired, but beyond that?

                What was he _supposed_ to feel? Did that even matter? What _did_ he feel?

                What was even going on anymore?

                Claus was climbing through his window when he realized that yes, he was thinking about going back the next day.

                It was a fight to get over to his bed, and when he did, he collapsed down on it. How many times had Marvin fucked- no, that was wrong. ‘How many times had they fucked’ was correct. This wasn’t Marvin’s doing, it was Claus’. He couldn’t blame Marvin now.

                Well then. How many timed had they fucked? How many timed had Claus cummed? How many times had _Marvin_ cummed?

                Why was he even thinking about this?!

                Claus drew a shivering breath and turned around, curling up into a ball to keep some of his body heat.

                Why, why, why, how, what, why, how, how, what, why, what, how-

 

*

 

_“You fucked me.”_

_Claus stared up at Marvin. Dream-Marvin._ Normal _Marvin. But not_ real _Marvin. It wasn’t a question, but Claus answered anyways. “Yes.”_

_“Why?”_

_Claus sat up. Why indeed. Why couldn’t he tell himself a lie, and stay in denial? Why couldn’t he just live with being confused? He couldn’t unlearn this. “Because I wanted to,” he snapped._

_“Wanted to? Yeah, right,” Marvin snorted, crossing his arms._

_And now he had to defend himself! Why was Marvin in his dreams? Why couldn’t he stay in his own? Why did his brain hate him? “I did- I- I do!”_

_“Huh, and why is that?” Marvin raised an eyebrow at him. Was he_ trying _to be irritating? It was working!_

_“Because I-,” Claus stopped and placed a paw in front of his face. “Because I love you!” he sneered. All motion froze around them, and he wished that he could take back his words and stuff them down his own throat. “I love you,” he repeated instead, whispering the words this time. “I love you, god, I love you…” The words were barely audible, and Claus whispered them with such despair and confusion, too. He wouldn’t be surprised if all Marvin heard was emotion._

_When? When had he fallen for the fox? When did this_ happen _?_ How _did this happen? Why had this happened? God, no, no, no…._

_“-what.”_

_“I love you!” Claus shouted, and tears filled his eyes, blurring his vision. “I love you!”_

_Marvin seemed to be in shock, and when Claus started sobbing it only became worse. “Claus, I-,”_

_“Don’t,” Claus snarled. “Don’t say anything. Just don’t. When mating season’s over I’m gonna get in so much trouble with you anyways, I don’t need it now.”_

_“But-,”_

_“This came as a shock for me too!” Claus screamed at Marvin, more tears escaping his eyes and clinging to his furry cheeks. “I didn’t know before now!” He gulped down a breath, and tried to calm himself down. It worked, more or less._

_Marvin stayed quiet after that, only shooting glances at Claus every now and then. Claus had nothing more to say, it was Marvin’s turn now. It took a while before he spoke again, and when he did… “I don’t know how to do this,” he whispered. “I don’t know how to...” He made some vague gestures with his paws, and sighed, his ears drooping. “…be good.” There was a pause. “How to feel.”_

_Claus turned to face him with a frown. “It’s easy,” he said. “You just-,” Pausing and crawling closer, Claus reached out and placed a hand on Marvin’s chest. “Listen to your heart.”_

_Marvin looked at him, ears still drooping. “I don’t know what it says,” he whispered as he placed his own paw over Claus’ much smaller one._

_“That’s fine,” Claus replied quietly, moving closer to the fox. The air was heavy and loaded, but it didn’t seem like Marvin noticed. “I’m confused sometimes, too.”_

_Licking his lips, Marvin swallowed heavily. “I’m not confused now,” he muttered._

_“Then follow it,” Claus whispered._

_Marvin leaned forward and kissed him._

*

 

The morning sun shone through Claus’ window, waking him up slower than usual. As he blinked his eyes open, he remembered the day before. And the dream. He remembered the dream.

                What was up with that? What was up with dreaming about Marvin? Oh yeah, and Claus was apparently in love with him, when had _that_ happened?

                Was it even worth it, asking all these questions without getting answers?

                Claus got up and gobbled down a carrot and two nuts before he opened the window. Cocking his head, he thought about it for a while. Shaking his head, he walked over to the door and pushed away the table and the two chairs. Picking up a key from underneath his carpet, Claus unlocked the door and walked outside.

                Right. So. Why was he doing this?

                He closed his eyes.

                ( _“Listen to you heart.”_

_“I’m not confused now.”_

_“Then follow it.”)_

Alright so he might just be taking advice from a dream, haha okay don’t ever tell anyone that Claus, just get this over with.

                Squaring his shoulders, Claus opened his eyes again. Perhaps it was time to move on past the questions and just- _live_.

                No more questions. Fine. He could do this.

 

*

 

There were five days left, and Marvin was becoming more distant.

 

*

 

There were four days left, and Claus could swear that Marvin was ‘waking up’.

 

*

 

There were three days left, and when Claus called, it took almost ten minutes before Marvin showed up. When he did, he didn’t attack him with the same hunger he’d done before, and the sex was more… gentle, almost unsure. As if Marvin was fighting the mating instinct.

 

*

 

There were two days left, and Marvin didn’t show up at all.

 

*

 

There was one day left, and everything was silent.

 

*

 

And then everything was back to normal again. The animals were out and going, visiting each other and being louder than before. Master Hare had started up the bakery again, and the smell of new baked bread spread through the forest.

                Everything was back to normal again, so why did Claus feel so empty?

 

*

 

Morten opened the door when Claus knocked, and invited him in with a smile. “Hello, Claus,” he greeted, closing the door behind him and gesturing towards the table.

                “Hello, Morten,” Claus replied. Something in his voice must have given him away, because Morten stopped what he was doing and turned around to face him.

                “What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning and sitting down opposite of him.

                “Nothing,” Claus said, shaking his head lightly. But he knew that if _Morten_ picked up on it, then it was both obvious and bad.

                Morten frowned harder. “Claus, I know that mating season is hard for you because you have to stay inside the whole time, but it’s over now. You can go out again!”

                Claus looked up at his friend in surprise. “Wh- no, no- that’s not it, I- I’ve been a lot out the last two weeks, it-,”

                Morten’s ear twitched and he interrupted him. “You’ve been out? The last two _weeks!?_ ”

                Claus froze. Damn, he shouldn’t have said that. Oh, he really, really shouldn’t have said that. “-no,” he tried.

                “Claus!” Morten exclaimed. “What have you been doing out there? You _know_ how Marvin gets when-,” His eyes widened and he gasped. “No. Claus, please don’t tell me that-,”

                “I fucked him,” Claus said flatly, placing his paws over his face. “I fucked him,” he repeated, more quiet this time.

                Morten looked like a fish on land. He kept opening and then closing his mouth. “Why!?” he finally cried, gesturing wildly with his paws.

                This wasn’t a dream. Claus could lie. He didn’t have to tell the truth. “Because he surely needed some company during mating season, right?”

                Well. At least he could _try_ to lie. It rarely worked on Morten.

                “Claus! Tell me the truth,” he pleaded. Ah, yes, he figured it out. Great.

                Claus drew a shivering breath and placed his head on the table. “I love him,” he mumbled into the wood.

                “What?” Morten said, leaning forward. “I didn’t quite catch that, come again?”

                “I love him!”

                Morten sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. Claus sat up straight again to watch him, prepared to be thrown out or something, but Morten just sighed heavily. “Claus, that’s not good,” he said slowly.

                “I know that,” Claus replied tiredly. “I _know_ that! But how do I stop? How do I stop loving him? I’m not even sure if I want to stop loving him, I-”

                “Claus,” Morten said, reaching out and patting his paw encouragingly. “It’ll be fine, I promise.”

                “How!?” Claus cried, tearing his paw away and shaking his head roughly. “How will it be fine!? I love a _fox_! I love Marvin!”

                Morten rubbed at his face and sighed again. “I didn’t know you were gay,” he said a after a long silence.

                “I’m not!” Claus blushed hard at his outburst, but went through with his claim. “I’m not gay. I’m bisexual, Morten, not gay.”

                Ignoring him completely, Morten got up and began to pace around. “Did you- have sex with him, or did he have sex with you?”

                “I- what? We had sex with each other, obviously, what the fuck, Morten?”

                Morten shook his head in mirth and sat down again, light smile playing at his lips. “I can’t help you unless you tell me what happened.”

 

*

 

Claus told him what happened.

 

*

 

“Knock, knock,” Claus said weakly, crouching down in front of Marvin’s den. “It’s me. Claus.”

                A red paw shot out through the entrance, grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the darkness. “What’re you doing here?” a voice hissed. “What if someone sees you? It’ll ruin your reputation!”

                Claus squinted, but couldn’t see more than shadows. “Marvin?” he said uncertainly.

                “Of course it’s me, who else? Santa?” the voice –Marvin- answered, and Claus snorted. “What are you _doing here_?” he repeated. “It’s- it’s not mating season, and I- I’m sorry, for- for chasing after you, and-,”

                “Marvin,” Claus interrupted. “It wasn’t your fault. You weren’t yourself. It was my fault, I should’ve remembered-,”

                “Why did you want to keep me company?” Marvin asked abruptly. First now did Claus notice how close he sounded. In fact, he could almost feel the heat radiating from the fox in front of him. “I’m a _fox_.”

                “You want the truth?” Claus mumbled. “Fine. _Fine._ You’ll get it.” He inhaled deeply and prepared to tell his tale. “When you attacked me, I was turned on. That’s why I ran away. I was scared of that. Being turned on like that –twice!- was enough to get my dreams going. You were there, in my dreams, completely normal and your snarky self. In these dreams, we- we made l- _love_.” Marvin inhaled sharply, but Claus hurried to continue. “Yes, we did. It wasn’t sex. We made love. And- and the next days I just couldn’t get it out of my head. I was hard literally 24/7 and it was fucking _tiring._ So, to get it to stop, I went out to find you. I thought that you would fuck me long and hard and that I wouldn’t enjoy it at all.” Claus was going to die. He was going to die and come to heaven and hopefully dream-Marvin was there, too, and- and yes, well, he was going to die because all his blood was rushing to his face. God. “But I _did_ , and I- I wanted to _return_ , to do it _again_ , and I asked myself _why_ , and I- I got the answer in a dream. You were there, and we had this epic talk about listening to our hearts and then I admitted that I loved you, and-,” Claus broke himself off. “Shit,” he whispered. “You didn’t hear anything! I didn’t say anything!”

                Marvin was silent for a long while, before he whispered, “You had the dreams, too?”

                His breath tickled on his nose, and Claus shuddered when he realized that Marvin had come closer. “What do you mean, too?” he forced out.

                “I don’t know how to do this,” Marvin said slowly. “I don’t know how to… be good. How to feel.”

                Claus’ eyes snapped up in an effort to look at Marvin, although only darkness met him. Was he- was he quoting the dream? He took a deep breath. “It’s easy,” he whispered, almost stumbling in his effort to reach Marvin and pat his chest. “You just follow your heart.”

                “You had the dreams, too,” Marvin repeated, placing a paw over Claus’. “I know what my heart says, Claus,” he muttered, and Claus knew that if he leaned forward now- just an inch, barely that - they would kiss. “Will you follow yours?”

                “Always,” Claus answered absentmindedly, and leaned forward.

 


End file.
